30 day self harm challenge.

1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.

I’ve been self harming for three years. I was bullied all through elementary school. It was kind of a silent bullying. Kids would make quiet, rude comments to me, but I was miserable. So when I went into middle school, I started to agree with everything they said. I hated myself, and I still do. I was so angry that I was picture perfect, so I took it out on myself. Then I would just cut as a pain release. 

2. What part of your body is most affected by it?

My thighs. I started cutting on my left wrist, but they were never deep enough to make scars. But my thighs are covered.

3. What is your motivation to recover?

My motivation to recover is probably my close friends and my mom. I know they are all hurting because I harm myself. I know they don’t want me to do this, and I’m trying to stop. 

4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?

Yes. I realized I was addicted after two years. I have tried over and over again to stop, but it’s something I crave. 

5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?

I dislike taking showers with fresh cuts because the soap gets in them. The day after sucks too. They sometimes itch. 

6. What about it do you enjoy?

Everything; the initial pain, the blood, the temporary numbness.

7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.
 

• Taking a walk
• Writing down all of my emotions at the time
• Calling/texting a close friend to keep my mind off of things.
• Praying
• Screaming
• Sleeping
• Watching my favorite movies
• Listen to Mayday Parade
• Sing
• Play Xbox

8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?


One of my friends told me ” Everything now is temporary.” It made me realize how little my issues really are compared to the rest of life. Sure, some might last longer than others, but it’s all temporary.

9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.


Yes, but no one has ever seen them.

10. How do you feel about your scars?

I love them and hate them at the same time. I’m in the process of accepting them, but I’m a little ashamed of them. I know in the future I will look at them and think “This is what I have over come.” 

11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?


On the school bus and in the school bathroom.

12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)

I used to keep them in this tin container, but my brother found them. So I moved them to another box that sits on a shelf in my room.

13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had?

It doesn’t just hurt me. It hurts the ones closet to me, also.

14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?

Demi Lovato. 

15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they?


Not really. I mean I have googled some things in the past but I don’t look at them often.

16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm?

Don’t ever start. No matter how tempting it looks, no matter how “cool” you think it is, do not ever do it. I would never want someone to have to experiences what I have with self harm. 

17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves? 

Yes.

18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.


I don’t think I will ever be recovered, but I think I will know better ways to cope. I think I will always slip up here and there. but my letter is:

I am so proud of you. You are beautiful, I promise.

19. List 5 reasons that recovery is worth it.


• So my family wont worry about me.
• So my friends wont worry about me.
• I can be free.

20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm.


I remember my dad and I had gotten into a fight. I got upset and was sitting on my bedroom floor, cutting my wrists. My dad walked in and i threw a blanket over my arm. He apologized and left. My arm was bleeding everywhere and he didn’t even know it. It was his fault I did it, but he was too late with his apology. 

21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?

Yes, I have. I have gone months without cutting, but then I would go back. I go to a therapist now, and it is really helping.

22. Where do you feel the most calm?

In my room, alone.

23. What is your favorite inspirational quote?


I can’t say I have one.

24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?

• People saying they are disappointed in me because I feel like I failed them.
• Not being good enough for someone.
• Insults
• People yelling at me.
• Hurting someones feelings.

25. Do you know any statistics about self harm?

• Three million americans engage in some form of self injury
• An esitmated two million americans purposely cut or burn themselves
• 90% of self injurers begin cutting as teenagers.
• The average self injurer begins at age fourteen and continues with increasing severity into her late twenties.
• The most common professions are teacher, nurse and manager.
• More than half of self injurers are victims of abuse, and most report emotionally abusive or neglictful childhoods.
• Self injury is prevalent in all races and economic backgrounds
• Although most self injurers are women, up to 40$ are men.
• Most people who self injure are not trying to commit suicide, instead using self injury as a coping mechanism.
• Self injury does become an addiction as it helps you feel better for a short period of time.
• FACT: Self injury is only a temperory solution. Self injury makes you feel better, but only for a short period of time. The only way to feel better for longer, is to develop coping mechanisms. (some of which are under the heading alternatives)
• Although there are a few exceptions, most people who self harm aren’t “crazy”. They just have a lot of inner stress that needs to be released and they don’t have any other way to release it than hurt themselves. 

I left these from the person I copied this from. enjoy.

26. What is something that makes you the most happy?


Going to concerts is my happy place. I am always excited at shows.

27. Discuss any and all progress you have made.

I think I am over 20 days self harm free. I have been coping different ways, but I have come close to relapsing about 3 times.

28. What short-term goals do you have?

To make the swim team in the winter, to make new friends this up coming school year, and to be happy.

29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs?


Seeing that this is my self harm/ self help blog……..

30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.

This is an old picture, but it describes you being happy. You LOVE tea, you LOVE Disney, you LOVE being all cozy in bed, and hey! That’s what you’re doing in this picture! No matter what your hair color, hair style, or whatever is; you will always be beautiful. Okay? okay.